Shearwater Message Board

It's the little things
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Author:  Christel [ 22 Jul 2008 00:12 ]
Post subject:  It's the little things

Earlier this evening, I had what might be described as a temporary episode of OCD. I was packing/getting ready in advance of going to Portland for SW Wednesday, and I discovered that my favorite jewelery has been stolen. It was taken a little over 2 weeks ago (I believe just before my birthday) by an agency assigned assistant--I get help with housework because of a disability. She stopped showing up to the agency the same day as her last assignment here.

These 4 pieces of jewelery were custom made and not something that would appeal to just anyone. They were quite distinctly indicative of my personality. They were not of much monetary value. I think, quite like the crow that runs the alley outside my window, this girl took them because they were shiny. Or perhaps for their perceived value to me.

They were my constant concert accoutrements. This is why I didn't notice they were missing for so long. This is also why I spent more than an hour frantically checking and rechecking every receptacle and corner in my room (I moved furniture!), despite the obvious and instantaneous realization that they were gone that dawned on me as soon as I opened the jewelery box. I'm still fighting the urge to look again (which is why this is being typed...).

She could have taken anything else in there, and she'd not only have something of more value to her, but I'd not miss the other stuff as much. It seems, now that I'm calming down, that they were intrinsically tied into my confidence or my sense of my personality. Maybe they were like lucky socks. That's actually more disappointing to me than the feeling of violation and betrayal from having been thieved.

Or maybe it's just that this tiny little insignificant act of theft was just the tipping point in a series of deaths and ended relationships, injuries and illnesses I've endured in the past two weeks...

But that thought still doesn't help. It still doesn't answer the question of:

What will I wear to Shearwater? :wink:

Incidentally, this question seems, inexplicably, infinitely more important than the question of where will I STAY after Shearwater. :roll:

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